"Put the woggle down and get in the car!"

Forget sex,curry or a full moon, Monday morning offered a potentially effective way of bringing on labour.

A child who won't put on their shoes + A child that won't relinquish a woggle + A battle through Woodingdean school traffic + A cold,rainy Monday = It may well be time to meet Dadmission number 5.

"Tired and Emotional"  would for this week only, be referred to as the never before heard of superhero, "The Blacksmith" for her ability to bend two of the three front door keys trying to get the kids into the car.

"This one's bent as well!"
"Because you keep bending them, chill out!"
"It's not easy to "chill out !"when your 38 weeks pregnant,late for the childminder and being woggle side swiped!
"You didn't mind being woggle side swiped nine months ago!"
"Darling I've only got enough energy for shepherding two children and growing one today."
"That's fair. I will keep childish gags to a minimum. This is the last one."

On Tuesday night the whole house slept eerily soundly. No one was drenched in sweat. No one had to sleep on a unicorn hot water bottle. No one was woken at 2am from a dream about an Octopus devouring their sister.
This rare boost of energy meant that "Same bedtime as his kids Athletico" was is an overly childish and bubbly mood at breakfast.

"I've cooked too many do you want this extra sausage?"
"The questions is would you like an extra sausage!"
"Please grow up!"

Tired and Emotional Athletic's quite possibly final trip to the midwife had confirmed that someone was locked and loaded and soon to make his final descent into a big World of noise, mess and woggle jousting.