Due date comes and goes.

Tired and Emotional Athletic was attempting to stock pile her sleep in preparation for the arrival of a new edition to the family sleep league.

Tuesday's due date came and went. The days feelings of nausea ended up not being signs of a forthcoming labour just being fatigued from being waken at 2am then 4am by Fidgety Legs United. A young man who is totally aware that something is very different with Mummy and is doing all he can to limpet himself to her to stake his claim.

"Morning darling do you want a cup of tea?" (daddy kisses Mummy)

"Get off Daddy,it's my Mummy!"

"Err if it hadn't been for the odd smooch you wouldn't be here chap."

"Probably a bit more than a quick smooch darling."

"Okay a something before Emmerdale."

Galleria Proxima Generacion

"Tortuga Traviesa"

Green paint, water and at least 10 ml of saliva on a paper plate. 

21.0cm X 29.7cm

If you've enjoyed this blog, you might also like this. It might help to pass the time if you find yourself in a lengthy queue, stuck on a train, stuck in a lift, or like me, stuck in an anxious moment.

http://capitalsfromasouthcoast.blogspot.co.uk/

To watch some utube Tips about ....

My Dadmission to raise the World's collective morale through the power of Planking please check out or even better subscribe to my Utube channel.

James Macdonald's Dadmissions

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBq5onzZtj0

Or just come and say hello or Twitter or Facebook

https://twitter.com/DadMissions2018

Cometh the hour,hopefully cometh the little man.

Three gate patrols in four shifts meant that "Same bedtime as his children Athletico" was exactly that on Monday and Tuesday nights.

Everyone including "Same bedtime as his children Athletico" slept fairly well on Tuesday into Wednesday. Fidgety legs United made his pull up shuffle through to his Mum's bed to start the two hour fidget but "Tired and Emotional Athletic" had gone to bed at 9pm in preparation for waters breaking and fidgeting children.

On Tuesday "Tired and Emotional Athletic" had been convinced that all day was the time that stomach tightness was about to be upgraded to actual contractions.

"I just feel really irritable and am grumpy with you, that must mean it's happening!"

"Tired and Emotional Athletic" did his best to put across that this behaviour sounded fairly typical without overly offending anyone.

"Err yeah that could mean that. It could also mean you have two children already, are heavily pregnant and still a bit annoyed that I forgot to tell you it was the nursery manager's last day?"

So convinced was she that tonight was the night that she tested "Same bedtime as his children Athletico" on his knowledge of where her overnight bag was in the house.

"The big black one and the small pink wash bag by the changing table!"

"Correct!"

Galleria Proxima Generacion

"Retrasar el cinismo."

Felt pens on A4 white paper. Some things are just too pure and beautiful to even attempt to make a smart arse comment. Good work Grace.

21.0cm X 29.7cm

If you've enjoyed this blog, you might also like this. It might help to pass the time if you find yourself in a lengthy queue, stuck on a train, stuck in a lift, or like me, stuck in an anxious moment.

http://capitalsfromasouthcoast.blogspot.co.uk/

To watch some utube Tips about ....

My Dadmission to raise the World's collective morale through the power of Planking please check out or even better subscribe to my Utube channel.

James Macdonald's Dadmissions

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBq5onzZtj0

Or just come and say hello or Twitter or Facebook

https://twitter.com/DadMissions2018

One headmistress,one head of PE and one Godfather on standby

"Tired and Emotional Athletic" whose name had been changed to "The Blacksmith" following her Uri Gellar front door key, bending skills was now "Prepared United" due to another u-turn in her behaviour.

Gone were the comments of "I'll wake you when the contractions start!" to "I reckon we'll be coaxing him out with a Pessary and a  Chicken Jalfrezi in July!"

Every day this week when "Same bedtime as his kids Athletico" came back from work he was greeted by the sight of another member of his wife's pit team being briefed about the specifics of their role if and when she went into labour.

"Okay so if I go into labour on Tuesday going into Wednesday morning you'll need to get here a bit earlier as William has to be at nursery for 9 and needs to be really encouraged to have a wee ideally a poo. Grace will need an extra 5 minutes to come to terms with the fact that it's Wednesday and therefore school dinners not pack lunch!"

Fidgety legs United and Asleep within seconds Town were both blissfully unaware of the detailed planning going on around them.As long as they were allowed to fill up water pistols up and sprinkle drying towels they were happy to accept any changes made to their routine.

 Tuesday into Wednesday and the house resembled a midnight performance of an amateur dramatic farce. Instead of maids and Vicars exiting and entering stage left and right we had a grumpy half naked dad coming down the stairs centre stage and an emotional mother, dressed in preparation for an Arctic Winter  approaching stage right. The 3 year old lead protagonist directed the whole production from the comfort of his bed.

"I want more milk!"
"I've done a pooh!"
"I want more milk!"
I've lost my dragon!"
"I want more milk!"
"I need a wee!"

Once I had got my wife some milk and helped her find her dragon I did the same for my son.

"To have and to hold.
For richer and poorer
"To assist in the midnight finding of dragons?"

At 1am Fidgety Legs United woke to tell us, in repetitive detail, about a scary dream involving a sister eating monster.

At 2am Fidgety Legs United demanded more milk and was still quite concerned about sister eating monsters.

At 3am he woke us with coughing that hinted it could be the warm up act for something far more impressive. 

At 4am he threw up all the milk and a bit extra that he'd been shouting at us for since 1am.

Everyone had been partially or fully awake from at least 2-4am. It was a very, not funny at all, game of family bed swapping. When the accompanying music of a child coughing and vomiting stopped I was trying to get some sleep in a bed designed for a child.

Every time I tried to stretch out my foot was thrust into the plastic Barbie salon and nail bar.

Wednesday into Thursday and "Asleep within seconds Albion" showed definite signs of whatever bug "Fidgety legs United had kept the house awake with the night before. Forget temperatures if our children has what smells like "cat food breath" it means a bug is inbound.

Galleria Proxima Generacion

     Chica al reves

Felt pens on yellow A4 paper. Artwork retrieved from inside the literary classic "Floppy's bath" put on the fridge underneath the, what we forgot on the big shop order and need to buy, black board.

21.0cm X 29.7cm

If you've enjoyed this blog, you might also like this. It might help to pass the time if you find yourself in a lengthy queue, stuck on a train, stuck in a lift, or like me, stuck in an anxious moment.

http://capitalsfromasouthcoast.blogspot.co.uk/

To watch some utube Tips about ....

My Dadmission to raise the World's collective morale through the power of Planking please check out or even better subscribe to my Utube channel.

James Macdonald's Dadmissions

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBq5onzZtj0

Or just come and say hello or Twitter or Facebook

https://twitter.com/DadMissions2018

"Put the woggle down and get in the car!"

Forget sex,curry or a full moon, Monday morning offered a potentially effective way of bringing on labour.

A child who won't put on their shoes + A child that won't relinquish a woggle + A battle through Woodingdean school traffic + A cold,rainy Monday = It may well be time to meet Dadmission number 5.

"Tired and Emotional"  would for this week only, be referred to as the never before heard of superhero, "The Blacksmith" for her ability to bend two of the three front door keys trying to get the kids into the car.

"This one's bent as well!"
"Because you keep bending them, chill out!"
"It's not easy to "chill out !"when your 38 weeks pregnant,late for the childminder and being woggle side swiped!
"You didn't mind being woggle side swiped nine months ago!"
"Darling I've only got enough energy for shepherding two children and growing one today."
"That's fair. I will keep childish gags to a minimum. This is the last one."

On Tuesday night the whole house slept eerily soundly. No one was drenched in sweat. No one had to sleep on a unicorn hot water bottle. No one was woken at 2am from a dream about an Octopus devouring their sister.
This rare boost of energy meant that "Same bedtime as his kids Athletico" was is an overly childish and bubbly mood at breakfast.

"I've cooked too many do you want this extra sausage?"
"The questions is would you like an extra sausage!"
"Please grow up!"

Tired and Emotional Athletic's quite possibly final trip to the midwife had confirmed that someone was locked and loaded and soon to make his final descent into a big World of noise, mess and woggle jousting.