Family Sleep League (2018 1st season)

The idea is to start a "Family Sleep league". An experiment to see if there is a correlation between good regular sleep and a happier family. I'll save you the suspense there will be.

Also...

1) Whack in a weekly report for each team.

2) Include some universal parental truths. Add feelings of adversity to identify with. Lob in a poignant comment or two and it may become a readable blog?

In about a year I  may even get the odd comment to respond to. In a couple of years this could be a self help group for exhausted Dad's in the East Brighton area.

Who know's could it even become a blog to advertise reduced pepper grinders, discount Cruises or PPI claims! I know,I know, hope is a dangerous thing but we all need to have our dreams.

If it provides no more than an opportunity for someone to take a breather from the numerous plates they're spinning then good. If it's one moment to be held in the idea that you're not alone in sometimes feeling overwhelmed at the responsibility of being a Dad then that's even better.

Ultimately it's one plate spinning parent's perspective to another? Something to read and digest in the time it takes for the kettle to boil or a microwave to ping.

It's also be a way for me to catalogue the seemingly endless supply of "artwork" that comes home daily from 2 sources, lives on the fridge for a week before finding it's way to a recycling bin. 

So here goes...

Team Profiles

I have decided to give each family member a team name. 

"Asleep within seconds Albion"

1) Introducing my 5 year old daughter aka "Asleep within seconds Albion"

"Asleep within seconds Albion" has never really struggled to get to sleep or have good sleep. She was sleeping through the night (7pm to 7am) from about 3 months old. To the satisfaction of my equally "Sleepless in Essex" brother and "Sleepless in Wiltshire" sister who have probably both had to live with limited sleep since about 1996 they were relieved to learn this is definitely not the case with her little brother.

Club emblem
Her club emblem is a pink glittery square badge of a small girl fast asleep under a mountain of stuffed toy unicorns her face stuck on an etch a sketch.

What are her chances in this inaugural 10 week season?

I would be quietly amazed if she didn't win this league with relative ease. The only possible spanner in the works was if she was to get any sort of cough,cold or temperature.Like all children she would then revert back several years and end up sleeping at a 45 degree angle in our bed. My wife pushed onto one edge maintaining a level of balance only previously achieved by Shaolin monks. I would be in my default "the kids are ill" shivering on the sofa under a child's blanket and two damp towels swearing at the dryer doing its "Just making sure you all know I'm still here doing random drum revolutions" 

"Fidgety legs United"

2) Introducing my 3 year old son aka "Fidgety legs United"

"Fidgety legs United" who up to about a fortnight ago could easily have been
"Padding through to Mummy United" Or if born in Spain "Midnight gibberish whispering Athletico" will like his father probably always be plagued with fidgety leg syndrome.
Sleep for my son has always been something on an enigma. 

A long car journey? Yes.

The thin edge of a sofa two minutes before tea time? Absolutely.

The start of the competitvely priced £8.50 showing of Paddington 2 after a kilogram of flumps? Definitely.

Bed at bed time? No chance.

Club Emblem
His club emblem is of a small boy with a low hanging nappy,standing in a lit doorway, holding a toy Owl in one hand and a plastic Terradactyl in the other.

What are his chances in this inaugural 10 week season?

I fully expect to see "Fidgety legs United" stuck in a bottom of the table dog fight with my wife's team. That said the fact that she's pregnant gives her serious guilt tokens with which to throw at me about who should be getting up to get him, milk,a dry pull up,whatever toy has just been posted under the bed. 

I think this first league could be a character building one for him.

"Tired and Emotional Athletic"

3) Introducing my beautiful and talented wife. She probably thinks I am still doing my tax returns,researching Bitcoin or listening to Joe Rogan podcasts. If she does read this blog it will be while also making the pack lunches and brokering a deal about second hand lego.It means I can probably just about get away with calling her "Tired and Emotional Athletic"

Club Emblem
Her club emblem would be not dissimilar to her daughters. A pregnant woman lying on her side,tightly packed in by bespoke pillows that ultimately line her bodies perimeter, as the light from an ipad flickers various offers from "Local Mum's bargains group!" 


What are her chances in this inaugural 10 week season?

In that my son has no clear understanding that Mummy is pregnant and therefore needs more sleep plus the fact that we have an ever approaching due date I think it will be between "Tired and emotional Athletic" and"Fidgety legs United to see who doesn't finish bottom of the table.

"Hiding in the Spare room Town" 

4) And finally introducing the last team in the league, myself, appropriately named "Hiding in the Spare room Town"
"Shivering on the Sofa City" and "On a floor under two dressing gowns" would also have been good names but thanks to my job where I often have to get up at 4am thereby justifying my occasional sleeping in the spare room this is the most accurate name.

Club emblem
My emblem would be of a middle aged half naked man, wearing odd socks, sleeping on the top bunk of the bunkbeds the International School lent us last year.


What are his chances in this inaugural 10 week season?

On previous form he really should finish top or second. The only possible spanner in the works is that he ignores his wife's annoyingly accurate advice about best before dates and eat's those two day over prawns. If food poisoning does strike sleep, along with body fluids and dignity will be eradicated..

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Parjaro confundido

Felt pen and feathers on white paper

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If you've enjoyed this blog, you might like these as well. They might help to pass the time if you find yourself in a lengthy queue, stuck on a train, stuck in a lift, or like me, stuck in an anxious moment.

One man's mission to help develop a universal basic living wage and send some postcards.

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A man with a relaxed attitude towards sorting the recycling preparing himself for the inevitable rise of artificial intelligence.

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© 2018 james macdonald copyright

Keep clocking up those small victories and you'll win the war.

If the high point of your day was a Google search reassuring you that an 87 minute "0800" call to the bank, while trying to hoover and encourage a 3 year old to eat pizza was free then it should probably be best described as fairly uneventful.

At 4:30am this morning I had naively thought I could trick my mind into thinking that 6 hours is just as good as 8 hours sleep with the hit the snooze button twice trick. The only clear disadvantage to this being a quicker shower and having to brush my teeth at work. 

My son on the other hand whose "sleep chart" made by Daddy on his lunch break, clearly show's he is blazing new trails on the staying in your own bed front. For the past three nights he has only woken once at 6am and then only to play a quiet game of "Owls and Rabbits" with his sister.

I am sure the next time he gets a cold or has a midday sleep in the car we will revert back to his hourly shuttle runs from his bed to ours from midnight onwards but for the time being this is an improvement.

That got me thinking maybe every member of the family could benefit from some sort of "Sleep Chart" encouragement?

Maybe my wife putting a small star on a piece of paper with a sleeping dinosaur on it would encourage me to stop listening to utube films in the bath about setting up online businesses or the potential future value of Bitcoin and just go to bed. This extra sleep might in turn give me the clarity that when it comes to success there is no easy road, just one where being financially wealthy would possibly have meant the sacrifice of something else.

Maybe the incentive of my putting a small star on a piece of laminated paper with a picture of sleeping dinosaur on it could encourage my wife to make our bedroom a no phones, ipad, zone. Watching made in Chelsea under the covers like a trapped potholer.

My daughter needs absolutely no help in this "Be better at sleeping" department and usually has to be peeled off whichever Mr Men book she taken to bed minutes after we have kissed her goodnight.

Maybe at the end of the week, month, year "Sleep Season? the person who has got the best, most amount of sleep will get some sort of prize? This ironically for at least 50% of the people involved would be the opportunity to have some sleep. 

Therefore it's with a level of self conscious excitement that I present the

"Inaugural Family Sleep League 1" which might well now put my listening to Utube speculators in the bath in a much more favourable light.

Details about the "Family Sleep League 1" to follow.

Apropos nothing here is an image of what Brighton Seafront can sometimes look like at 6am.

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Pajaro Colorido

Felt pen and feathers on white paper

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If you've enjoyed this blog, you might like these as well. They might help to pass the time if you find yourself in a lengthy queue, stuck on a train, stuck in a lift, or like me, stuck in an anxious moment.

One man's mission to help develop a universal basic living wage and send some postcards.

http://capitalsfromasouthcoast.blogspot.co.uk/

A man with a relaxed attitude towards sorting the recycling preparing himself for the inevitable rise of artificial intelligence.

inanimatesmayobject.blogspot.co.uk/

© 2018 james macdonald copyright

Sleepless in Saltdean

"People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one."

-Leo J. Burke

Welcome to this, the first post of "Sleepless in Saltdean."

Where is Saltdean?

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Saltdean is a small village on the South Coast of England, about 5 miles East of Brighton. As you can see it sits level with breath taking cliff top views.

It has an unpretentious, family friendly feel to it. It has high street shops where the locals are quite likely to be on first name terms with the shop owners.

It's an undulating 5 minute walk to take our 3 year old son to nursery and our 5 year old daughter to School. It has a stunning undercliff walkway leading to some deserted beaches. It has a cliff edge cycle path which leads me all the way to work.

Awesome as all of this is it's often taken for granted by my wife and I as we're too bloody tired to appreciate it.

I genuinely wouldn't swop the life I have with anyone. I feel totally blessed not only to have a very long suffering wife,two great kids but also to have another one due in a couple of months.

If there was just some way of getting them to stay in their beds and not pad through in the middle of the night to sleep horizontally along the pillow line,stick their fingers in our ears or whisper questions we can't possible answer with any degree of accuracy at 2am.

"Why aren't you a girl?"

"Does the wind have teeth?"

"Why isn't Mummy a boy?"

"Do seagulls brush their teeth?"

"Why isn't it Easter tomorrow?"

A clean undisturbed 8 hours sleep is something I would happily swop any number of scenic bike rides or shop keepers knowing my name for.

A bit more sleep would take me from happy to very happy and probably 15-17% more grateful. I have also noticed that the topic of sleep it's the one thing that tends to unite anyone who is a parent.

How's the sleep? Is always the first thing other parents seem to want to know.

No one who has children really tells you that once you're a parent you will no longer get to decide how much sleep you have. Even if they sat you down and really tried to explain it to you you'd probably be too busy stock piling muslin cloths or obsessing about your skirting boards to really listen.

Why write a blog about being a bit tired? 

Well that's a good question. I have found it can be good to have something to do at 1am when you'd give your left testicle and probably your right one to get your son or daughter to burp or fart up the last flaming bubble of wind that is keeping you from having enough sleep to be deemed legal to operate heavy machinery over the next 24 hours.

Who cares that you can't sleep?

I very much doubt anyone.

What do you hope to achieve?

If writing a blog about my obsession with sleep, my day dreams of going to bed minutes after I've put the kids to bed,amuses another knackered dad who is wondering why he keeps finding his car keys in the fridge or my ramblings help a brand new Mum realises she's not alone in craving some rest then that will be good.

So this is just a blog about the fact that you get crap sleep?

No it's going to be about the family and how I think the amount of sleep we all get can have a significant impact of the quality of our moods and life in general.

There is a scientific scale that is used to rate depression levels in patients. It's called the Hamilton rating scale for depression. Apparently according to this scale a good night's sleep is considered approximately four times more effective a way of dealing with depression as anti depressants.

If that's not something worth exploring for myself, my family and maybe a brand new Dad warming milk in the early hours then I don't know what is.

"Burrrppppppp...."

"Finally! Well done darling. Right probably an hour tops before I need to answer questions about the dental needs of Seagulls."

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Belle at Princess School

Felt pen and Pencil on paper

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If you've enjoyed this blog, you might like these as well. They might help to pass the time if you find yourself in a lengthy queue, stuck on a train, stuck in a lift, or like me, stuck in an anxious moment.

One man's mission to help develop a universal basic living wage and send some postcards.

http://capitalsfromasouthcoast.blogspot.co.uk/

A man with a relaxed attitude towards sorting the recycling preparing himself for the inevitable rise of artificial intelligence.

inanimatesmayobject.blogspot.co.uk/

© 2018 james macdonald copyright