The trip to the seafront park that "Poured into a child's seat Town" is contractually obliged to check for syringes and human waste was surprisingly calm.
As with every trip to a park "Poured into a child's seat Town" found a way to model the importance of supporting your fellow man.Or in this case, your fellow harassed Mum. With no thought for his own safety he stepped upped to stop children walking into the smelly offering she was frantically retrieving in the middle of a still active water feature.
This kindness was returned minutes later when she directed a distraught "Fidgety Legs United to our new position of a bench with slightly less offensive graffiti.
Once we'd coated our clothes in ice cream, Legionella infused water and unidentified dark stains we drove home to prepare. "Tired and Emotional Athletic's parents were driving down from Derby to meet our new edition, "Jack Master flash Sportivo" They were delivering several bin bags of hand me downs and hopefully not reminding us that our drive still needs weeding.
This meant that I got to do some HIH.High Intensity hovering is a bit like normal hovering just done while also clenching your stomach muscles and listening to a Tony Robbins podcast.
This also meant spending half of the weekly shop budget on posh hand soap and diffuser oil.
"Have we got any tea bags?"
"No, just wave a cinnamon and artichoke stick under your nose."
It also meant hovering behind a five seater sofa in case people in their 70's wanted to quickly check while we were in another room finding matching socks.
It also required turning shampoo bottles to face the same way, folding the end of the loo rolls to form a downward arrow, using the hoover attachment to remove hair from behind the loo,dressing wriggly children into itchy Christmas trousers, pushing all damp clothes from the line under beds and strategically placing furniture to hide curled laminate.
All of this to create a 24 hour illusion that we're more Royal family than Royle family.
Galleria Proxima Generacion
Montaña del arco iris
21.0cm X 29.7cm
Water colour paint on white A4 paper
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