Forget the early morning Seafront patrol, getting the kids to School, on time is where the week is won and lost.
It was also "Same bedtime as his kids Athletico's" turn to have some glue ear. The baton which was usually held firmly by "Asleep within seconds Town" was passed over on Wednesday. This was an especially unattractive proposal because it was all gluey.
"Same bedtime as his kids Athletico" who changed his name to as "Glue Ear Town" slept with his ear on a hot water bottle on Wednesday and Thursday nights. This wasn't an altogether unpleasant experience. Rolling over and branding his forehead on the metal key fob attached to it was.
"Same bedtime as his kids Athletico" remembered someone at work explaining how pouring olive oil in their ear helped to ease the pain of glue ear. This might have explained to anyone passing the kitchen window at 2am why a grown man in his pants was pouring oil into his ear, rubbing e45 on his nose and clutching a unicorn hot water bottle.
On Thursday night "Tired and emotional Athletic" noticed two ants wondering across the barren landscape that is the family bathroom floor while she was counting balled up scratch mits. This was the catalyst which led to her launch operation "Search and destroy Ants nest" and refusing to go to sleep until the Saltdean ant population was completely wiped out.
It also gave her an opportunity to christen the most interesting looking of the Dyson attachments.
Thursday's getting the kids to school, getting the car parked up for your wife and yourself to work by 9am challenge was it's usual white knuckle ride.
"We've leaving in five minutes people! Five minutes! Child 2, do you need a wee? Child 1, have you got your book bag? Your shoes on? Your teeth brushed ?"
"Nearly daddy!"
"Lying on your stomach in front of the dryer in your pyjamas is not nearly ready!"
"I've just really got to help this woodlouce! It's gone under the dryer!"
"Darling much as I admire your compassion for the local Woodlouce community I am terrified of being late for school again. Having to bow my head and beg for the Head of KS2 to open the gates and let us in for the third time this month wouldn't be a good start to the day. There are only so many times she is going to buy "The traffic on the A259 was a nightmare" routine. Especially as she lives three doors down from us!"
Tired and emotional Athletic had declared the parent's bed an official no go zone until the baby is born. "Same bedtime as his kids Athletico" accepted this fairly happily knowing that trying to stock pile some sleep in his upstairs bunk bed palace was a sensible choice. Even Fidgety Legs United had accepted the new terms but not before he had brokered a deal for his sister's 5 foot long unicorn.
Galleria Proxima Generacion
Felt and grass stains on white paper
21.0cm X 29.7cm
If you've enjoyed this blog, you might also like this. It might help to pass the time if you find yourself in a lengthy queue, stuck on a train, stuck in a lift, or like me, stuck in an anxious moment.
One man's mission to help develop a universal basic living wage and send some postcards.
http://capitalsfromasouthcoast.blogspot.co.uk/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBq5onzZtj0
Or just come and say hello or Twitter
https://twitter.com/DadMissions2018
To watch clips of Tips about
1) my Dadmission to raise the World's collective morale and
2) make the washing up more interesting please check out or even better subscribe to my Utube channel.
James Macdonald's Dadmissions
Tip 1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBq5onzZtj0
Or just come and say hello or Twitter
https://twitter.com/DadMissions2018
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